My mood today has been one of extreme contrast too. I'm happy there are no tumors, but I have anxiety about what is going on with me.
I wish I knew the cause, especially when my medicine wears off and I start the jolts/spasms/twitches all over again. I'm tired today.
But, I don't think I'm supposed to know the cause yet or I would already know it. Trust. I must tell myself to trust. Trust God. Trust the doctors. Trust my own knowledge of my limitations.
Of course, I saw contrast a lot today too. The following were from my drive home. I left work somewhat early because today is my husband's birthday.
Today's lesson, I think, is patience. I'll know when I'm supposed to know. In the meantime, I'll just need to learn to weather it out.
The other lesson is that I can't ignore God anymore. He's everywhere. I ran away from Him for a long time. But, as these images show, He's made Himself hard for me to ignore. I felt like the sky was opening up with brightness. I had to pull my car over to watch. The tug at me was too strong to continue driving without stopping.
Peace and hugs,
Jen
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