Shakes, No Shakes

This past weekend was very good in some respects and very difficult in other respects. Saturday was the day that was both the hardest and easiest. On one hand, my husband and I took a little day trip to eat out in Dickson, TN. On the other hand, my body decided to go haywire on me. I had several very strong spasms/jerks/jolts while I was eating out. This made me very tired. It caused 4 hours of shaking on my entire my left side after the jolts stopped.

I had been taking tons of pictures, but that stopped for the day.

There were things I wanted to do in Dickson that we didn't get a chance to do because I became much too tired to do much of anything. Walking from the one museum we went to back to our car was the proof to me that I simply needed to go home. Even sitting a cafe to drink a cup of decaf and talk to my hubby would have been too much.

The feeling of defeat at my own body is maddening.

But, it is humbling too. I have limitations. Sometimes they are placed where I expect them to be, and other times they are placed smack dab before me without any warning.

After the little day trip, I slept for almost 14 hours straight.

Today, I went to church, then to work for a few hours. I only worked for a fraction of the time I had expected to work. This was partly because I found lots of beautiful things to take in with my camera since my hands weren't shaking. It was also partly because I am still very, very tired.

I only had a handful of spasms/jolts today, but the ones I have had have made me stop and let myself become tired and not fight the fatigue.

So, this weekend's blog post is about the different moods I have been in. These are all pictures I took yesterday or today.

Peace and hugs,

Jen

P.S. I have been asked by a few people what model of camera I have. I take all of these pictures with my phone. I don't use a special camera. Just a Droid 1. Nothing with a zoom lens or anything. I simply take pictures of what I see around me with my phone.

Contrast

My MRI with contrast came back showing no tumors, as I mentioned in yesterday's post. I will need to go back in another 6 months to have another one done to make sure there still aren't tumors.

My mood today has been one of extreme contrast too. I'm happy there are no tumors, but I have anxiety about what is going on with me.

I wish I knew the cause, especially when my medicine wears off and I start the jolts/spasms/twitches all over again. I'm tired today.

But, I don't think I'm supposed to know the cause yet or I would already know it. Trust. I must tell myself to trust. Trust God. Trust the doctors. Trust my own knowledge of my limitations.

Of course, I saw contrast a lot today too. The following were from my drive home. I left work somewhat early because today is my husband's birthday.

Today's lesson, I think, is patience. I'll know when I'm supposed to know. In the meantime, I'll just need to learn to weather it out.

The other lesson is that I can't ignore God anymore. He's everywhere. I ran away from Him for a long time. But, as these images show, He's made Himself hard for me to ignore. I felt like the sky was opening up with brightness. I had to pull my car over to watch. The tug at me was too strong to continue driving without stopping.

Peace and hugs,
Jen