Some Things Still Don't Make Sense

Some things still don't make sense. I have no clue why my spasms have come back and why they are so frequent. It scares me because I don't want a spasm to somehow make my syrinx bigger. Or, I don't want to give myself whiplash and make my whole bulging disc issue hurt like crazy again. My pain has been managed already in that regard, and I don't want for it to happen all over again. I'm thinking that maybe the reason I was hurting so badly before was that I was having a bunch of spasms in my sleep and gave myself whiplash. Maybe.

I have another neurologist appointment on Monday the 15th of August, so hopefully I can get these jerky thingamabobbers figured out. Until then, I'm just going to be tired all the time. I'm sleeping through the night okay, but after I have a bunch of jerks, I get very tired for a few hours.

Some things don't make sense. This picture was taking outside Opryland in Nashville, TN.

And just when I am back to normal street signs yesterday, things didn't make sense again. This was a random subdivision in Hermitage, TN. Again, a sign I saw yesterday.

I hope to return to normal street signs soon!

Peace and hugs,

Jen

Why Me? This Doesn't Make Any Sense That This Is Happening to Me

When in pain, I am tempted to ask, "Why me? This doesn't make any sense that this is happening to ME. What did I do to deserve this?"

I ask this sometimes even though I try really hard to rein the question in. Then, I am reminded that there are some things that simply don't make sense. I went to a cafe today. These are pictures from my little outing.

Sometimes things just don't make sense, no matter how hard I try to make them make sense.

Even though things don't make sense, things are sometimes broken. What is an ugly eye sore to some is a beautiful thing to others.

Yet although I see and feel that the ceiling is broken, the cafe holds beauty inside...

And outside...

We are this way, no matter how broken we are physically. We were made beautiful, and we are beautiful, no matter how broken our bodies become.

Peace and hugs,
Jen

This Tree Understands Nerve Pain

This tree understands nerve pain.

This fence understand my syrinx.

This tree understands the fear of losing use of limbs.

This tree understands the fear and reality of use of everything above the neck.

These leaves understand how to help a friend who is turned upside down.

This tree understands what it is to hurt but to survive the slicing, cutting pain

This can understands what it feels like to be utterly crushed.

I took a walk in my neighborhood today. There are too many pictures to share on this single blog post but I do think that looking for understanding all around us is an important lesson of spinal issues. Look closeby for answers.

This picture was taken while in my car today after dropping off and weighing some letters at the post office. I did not Photoshop it.

Peace and hugs,

Jen

To Talk or Not to Talk, that is the Question

I thought about whether or not I would tell my employer and immediate co-workers about what is going on with me, and quickly came to the conclusion that the right answer for me was YES. There's no secret with anybody that sometime is going on with me because I woke up one morning looking like I had suddenly come down with a severe case of Tourette's Syndrome. The meds have that whole jerking/spasm thing more or less (not really but better than before) under control.

Why else?

--I may need to ask for reasonable accommodations, which my boss immediately mentioned

--I really like my job and want to continue working there, but I don't want to keep my mouth shut all day about what's going on with me. I do, after all, spend more time there than I do with my friends and family.

--My co-workers are all really cool and have a good sense of humor. Laughing about it makes me feel better.

--I can't NOT talk about stuff. My head would explode. Cleaning up bits and pieces of my own brain surely wouldn't help me to feel better.

Or would it? Isn't it the brain that interprets pain signals?

Now, off to enjoy my weekend! Peace and hugs,

Jen