Some Things Still Don't Make Sense

Some things still don't make sense. I have no clue why my spasms have come back and why they are so frequent. It scares me because I don't want a spasm to somehow make my syrinx bigger. Or, I don't want to give myself whiplash and make my whole bulging disc issue hurt like crazy again. My pain has been managed already in that regard, and I don't want for it to happen all over again. I'm thinking that maybe the reason I was hurting so badly before was that I was having a bunch of spasms in my sleep and gave myself whiplash. Maybe.

I have another neurologist appointment on Monday the 15th of August, so hopefully I can get these jerky thingamabobbers figured out. Until then, I'm just going to be tired all the time. I'm sleeping through the night okay, but after I have a bunch of jerks, I get very tired for a few hours.

Some things don't make sense. This picture was taking outside Opryland in Nashville, TN.

And just when I am back to normal street signs yesterday, things didn't make sense again. This was a random subdivision in Hermitage, TN. Again, a sign I saw yesterday.

I hope to return to normal street signs soon!

Peace and hugs,

Jen

Can I Trust This?

Today and yesterday, I feel semi-normal. I haven't had spasms. I haven't had jolts. I've only had minor pain and sleepiness from my medication. My medication dose recently has been increased, and the yellow smiley face stress ball has been helping to distract me when I do have pain. I can focus on something other than random sensations in my body by focusing on sensations I'm creating.

Can I trust this?

I feel like I shouldn't be asking the question, but I can't help myself. Can I actually feel normal again?

Live today. I keep telling myself this.

I worked long days midweek and so was unable to write. Check out the sunset I saw on Wednesday:

And the one I saw on Thursday:

I can trust sunsets. I know what they are and how they will be behave. They are fiery but predictable. Beautiful but ever changing. Perhaps this thing that is happening to me is like this. Predictable yet ever changing.

Today, I feel like me, and I like it.

Tomorrow is another day, and I'll make myself wait to experience it when it comes. I will continue to look for the sun as it rises and sets. Of this I can be sure.

Peace and hugs,
Jen