Some Things Still Don't Make Sense

Some things still don't make sense. I have no clue why my spasms have come back and why they are so frequent. It scares me because I don't want a spasm to somehow make my syrinx bigger. Or, I don't want to give myself whiplash and make my whole bulging disc issue hurt like crazy again. My pain has been managed already in that regard, and I don't want for it to happen all over again. I'm thinking that maybe the reason I was hurting so badly before was that I was having a bunch of spasms in my sleep and gave myself whiplash. Maybe.

I have another neurologist appointment on Monday the 15th of August, so hopefully I can get these jerky thingamabobbers figured out. Until then, I'm just going to be tired all the time. I'm sleeping through the night okay, but after I have a bunch of jerks, I get very tired for a few hours.

Some things don't make sense. This picture was taking outside Opryland in Nashville, TN.

And just when I am back to normal street signs yesterday, things didn't make sense again. This was a random subdivision in Hermitage, TN. Again, a sign I saw yesterday.

I hope to return to normal street signs soon!

Peace and hugs,

Jen

What Does It Mean For Life To Be Straight?

One often hears about the "straight and narrow." These trees are straight and narrow, yet they are all over the place. Today's thoughts are, of course, about my back. Was I really born with this syrinx or did it recently happen? Can I ever visit a chiropractor again? Can I make myself sit up straight in a chair? The physical therapist seems to think this is quite essential. The lumbar pillow I have is driving me nutty at work. I can't get used it it. Driving with it isn't too bad, but sitting at my desk all day with it at work is a challenge.

And then there is the important question. If I do all these things: the physical therapy, the medication, the posture stuff, etc., will these bizarre sensations ever stop? Will I ever be free of the anxiety that I'm going to have crazy muscle spasms?

I'm thinking that there is a lot to these things going on with me. Maybe I'll never know the answer. Maybe I'm not supposed to know the answer. Instead, I'll look to the design of these trees and reflect upon the very real possibility that I may have to just trust that everything will be okay. The situation with my body may never fully straighten out.